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Friday, September 22, 2006

Wagons

What a pain getting into work today. I drive into work from a secret location each and every day. My Radio listeners don't really have a clue how far, or from which direction I travel.

Today I may have give the game away, Mainly, as a result of Chain-eating, newspaper reading, Sleep driving, Wagon Drivers. Oh I forgot Blind Bullies who wont slow down to let anybody join a motorway, or have any clue what mirrors are used for, other than to check on the carnage they have left behind.

My trip this morning, started out on a Motorway. Two wagons tailgating each other, until one spotted an incline, this is an unmarked que on any motorway for the slower of the two wagons to pull out of his leading opponents slip stream, indicating, but without using mirrors until after the maneuver, to see if any cars were unfortunate enough to be traveling alongside.

The next step is to drive side by side in low gear as slow as possible for as long as possible without letting your opponent pass, not forgetting to weave into the hard shoulder to kick up a few stones to play smash the car windscreen. Meanwhile the other driver has to weave into the outside lane to police speeding cars, and to have lunch and a sly read of the paper.

The average speed on the motorway according to my trip meter was fifteen miles per hour.
On arriving at a small village I have to pass through, news filtered through, that a Massive hole had appeared in the road on the one way system I was about to use "and people were looking into it" (ha ha,,,,funny).

Wonder if this had anything to do with our heavy friends in their big rigs (yes I think so too)

With just twenty minutes before I am due to go on Air I am sat at a railway crossing. Barriers stuck down. It took a detour to get me to work with just ten minutes to go. What was the hold up???? A B***dy wagon stuck on the track. W***ers.

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