What a week

As you will have noticed I have been absent without leave. Last weekend was so very busy, the time just flew by.

On Friday we received a call from Mr Gate man, we had nearly forgotten about a set of gates we had ordered, what seemed, like ages ago. They were due to arrive with an expert fitter early on Saturday morning. Being weekend getting up seemed like a big job and such a strain, manageable (just).

Mr Gate man was running a little late so by mid afternoon the gates where all but hung. It took a while however, to repaint and touch up to perfection. One day gone.

Sunday was a bit of a failed shopping day, no food, no toys, just DIY stuff. With the floor repair job is in full swing, it was, more replacement floor boards and a box of two hundred screws. Oh and one toy an Electric nail gun. (really useless for putting in screws)

The rest of Sunday and Monday were spent Screwing. I did however get the chance to use my new nail gun. The floor boards in the hall have creaked for as many years as I can remember, but with little wedges hammered under the floor joists and secured with nails from my new nail gun, Peace at last. One more room to do.

Tuesday is a trip to my mums after work. That made Tuesday a DIY free day, but an extra prep night for work on Wednesday.

Wednesday was a Somerfield Store opening, Which for me meant an early start, and a change from my air conditioned hi tech studio. My four hour Radio Show was broadcast live with no security to protect me from the probing public from the Freezing cold car park.

Today Carol had to go to Hospital to see a bowel and tummy specialist. more on that tomorrow because I will only end up slagging off our Local GP's for making Carol suffer, in pain, agony and total despair for a further two years, after the last mis diagnosis of whatever is wrong with her. (B***ards)

Wagons

What a pain getting into work today. I drive into work from a secret location each and every day. My Radio listeners don't really have a clue how far, or from which direction I travel.

Today I may have give the game away, Mainly, as a result of Chain-eating, newspaper reading, Sleep driving, Wagon Drivers. Oh I forgot Blind Bullies who wont slow down to let anybody join a motorway, or have any clue what mirrors are used for, other than to check on the carnage they have left behind.

My trip this morning, started out on a Motorway. Two wagons tailgating each other, until one spotted an incline, this is an unmarked que on any motorway for the slower of the two wagons to pull out of his leading opponents slip stream, indicating, but without using mirrors until after the maneuver, to see if any cars were unfortunate enough to be traveling alongside.

The next step is to drive side by side in low gear as slow as possible for as long as possible without letting your opponent pass, not forgetting to weave into the hard shoulder to kick up a few stones to play smash the car windscreen. Meanwhile the other driver has to weave into the outside lane to police speeding cars, and to have lunch and a sly read of the paper.

The average speed on the motorway according to my trip meter was fifteen miles per hour.
On arriving at a small village I have to pass through, news filtered through, that a Massive hole had appeared in the road on the one way system I was about to use "and people were looking into it" (ha ha,,,,funny).

Wonder if this had anything to do with our heavy friends in their big rigs (yes I think so too)

With just twenty minutes before I am due to go on Air I am sat at a railway crossing. Barriers stuck down. It took a detour to get me to work with just ten minutes to go. What was the hold up???? A B***dy wagon stuck on the track. W***ers.

That's Tangy

We haven't had Halloween yet, nor bonfire night, but at work we are talking Christmas parties. John and Neil our breakfast presenters are talking Panto ( Oh yes they are). They are in Peter Pan at The Crosby Civic hall.

Neil is on a health kick at the moment (so he says). And, I may add, needs to be. Being the best radio station in our patch means that for the lucky few, (Our Sales team plus John and Neil) certain perks are available.

These perks are mainly food and Drink related, free meals at various venues throughout our area, and food delivered to the Studio at stupid o'clock. Hence the need to be on a health kick. Don't worry a local Gym has come to the rescue and sorted out free membership. (not for me though)

I did try last year to get cheap membership and got totally ripped off. One of our local Gyms offered me a huge discount .....My A*se. My blood pressure was too high to join at that time, so they deferred my membership start date until my high cholesterol was sorted.

They stole money from my bank for a whole year without me being able to attend..... B***ards.

Anyway I have bought a Power Juicer and do loads of DIY . Who needs to prance around, lifting things for no reason, in a Smelly Gym wearing a leotard ,with blokes who train to look like they are carrying invisible carpets.

I can get my Five a Day with my Power Juicer. And Tonight I did just that. I had Beef Curry Rice Chips and Prawn crackers followed by a Carol special, Lemon, Lime, Orange, Grapefruit, and apple.

My tongue is nearly bleeding.

Well Done Lads

Tuesday the fifth of this month held devastating news for 52 full time and around 250 part time workers, with the closure of Southports Pleasureland. The news came also as a massive shock for many thousands of people who have enjoyed holidays and days out in the resort.

Working on the local radio station for the area, I had lots of feedback, theory's as to what went wrong, who's fault it may be and what may be happening next.

News also of financial groups getting together to save Southports fun fair, petitions against the closure. As I also present an Hour of News within my show, I cannot be seen to take sides and certainly cant voice my personal views on air. Other than "What a shame" "Oh dear me how sad".

When the news came, that apart from the closure, a team of engineers had been sent in to dismantle some of the Big rides in preparation for a move to blackpool, It really felt like the end of an era. Then to add insult to injury, or for complete spite, another team moved in to hack away at a seventy odd year old wooden rollercoaster called the Cyclone.

Well done to the Two coaster fans who held their own mini protest today by chaining themselves to the ride. (they came down when they thought they may be causing a hazard on a passing road). I don't usually have a view on protests but I back this 100%, I know it wont change anything but at least they tried. Well done lads. And while I am at it well done to the fathers for justice and anybody who has tried to abolish the CSA.

Phew Rant over

Don't you hate it when that happens

Sunday turned out to be quite an industrious day. I did have a bit of a shaky start, as I had made a complete mess of sealing the bath. With that major success behind me, I also managed to put up four new tiles. (ran out of tile adhesive).

I did lots of other stuff today........Honest.

One thing though, really, really got to me today. On Thursday morning I was running a little behind on time, and rather than have a bowl cereal for breakfast I had a little root around the kitchen and discovered a packet of very nice Gingernut biscuits (hidden in our bread bin).

Bearing in mind, Carol and myself gave up smoking, and, Carol informs me, we have magic water, with remarkable weight gaining properties, we are carrying an ounce or two of extra weight, so a discovery of this kind was a treat...... I took five, and thought no more about it.

After a very busy day today, out of nowhere, I remembered the biscuits in the bread bin. Two lovely cups of tea made, and in I went. ONE LEFT........ " Have you seen this Carol,,, somebody's ate all of the gingernuts, bar ONE". Didn't know I'd left one, she replied and ate that one too.

Typical woman.. You don't like them she says. I ****dy do. Don't you hate it when that happens.

Take your time

Many years ago my dad gave me a DIY tip. Take your time, prepare, think the job through. At the moment I am spending that much time thinking, planning and adding to my to do list, that not a lot seems to be getting done around here.

It seems ages ago now but do you remember me telling you about my bathroom tiles and how I have just a wall and a bit left to do. Well, the bathroom saw a bit of action today. Around the bath was in real need of that silicone sealant, (is that what they use for lady's chests ?). I have used this type of stuff before so it didn't really pose much of a problem.

Then a little voice said "Take your time". So rather than using my pre wetted finger to smooth my newly applied Super Tough, Ultra White, Anti Mould, Long Lasting Silicone, It was off to my garage to find a silicone sealant profile forming spreader tool type thing. I knew I didn't have one but thought I could make one. Which of course I did. Cool, Good Job, Nice One.

On offering my new tool up to the previously applied sealer, That is when the penny dropped. Take your time (unless the silicone goes off and starts to set in FIVE MINUTES). What a mess. It has taken me ages to get the mess off, go to my favorite DIY shop for a new tube of sealant and a Real applicator. . . . . At last job done one off my list. But look at the time.

Countdown

For some strange reason during the week I came out with a true fact, one that spread instant fear amongst listeners to my radio show. One Hundred days to go before Christmas, not long off eh, cant wait, love Christmas. But hang on... Both Carol and myself are approaching two years of being None Smokers, and I don't mind telling you, we have put on an ounce or two.

Time to get fit maybe, if we both start being really healthy we could look like models by Christmas.

Since my summer holiday (and not going away) I seem to have got into the habit of watching a certain type of channel on my TV, after hours. And before you say it, My channels are in the six hundreds, not the Nine hundreds like my mate. (its ok Dan I wont tell anyone its you).

What a bargain, that will make us really healthy, give us a body detox, lots of vitamins and energy. A Power Juicer from "Pats the name". I love Power tools, so this should be good. Rather than pay the TV price and postage, I knew where to get one very similar, and its one that is made by "pats the name". Saw it in the mail advert for a Cash and Carry type place.

Got around to trying a recipe today. Detox and clean out your liver. Celery carrot's and Beetroot. Looked a little strange. Must work though, One sip and it cleaned out my whole stomach. Yuk (DON'T LIKE IT)

They are running away from me

Wasn't it quiet yesterday ?. Reason being, my mum arrived back home from her short holiday to Ireland, She had gone with my Uncle Alfie and auntie Jean. They have since continued their mammoth drive and are now back home in Portsmouth.

Mum wanted to go to a certain bay, and watch the sun set, as mentioned in an old song that she insisted on singing to me yesterday. It was a very long song, and I think I may have passed out during it, as I don't remember any of the Details. I do remember thinking to myself " Now I know where I got my singing voice from". (It was that bad).

Tuesday is my regular day to visit mum and take her some shopping, She likes regular because it doesn't interfere with her social life. Clubbing with My auntie Lilly, Bingo and every isle shopping. She didn't mind this week, as she had only just returned from her holiday. With the song and a cruise around the estate to find out why the lawn didn't need cutting. (the council did it on Tuesday) I was rather late getting home. Hence no blog yesterday, good job really,

Earlier in the day we had a picture emailed to us all at work. The picture was a preview of a Radio Station publicity shot of the DuneFM 10K running team, due to appear in a Southport newspaper. My boss insists I am an asset to the team, but I am not on the photograph.

I knew the team had hid from me the other day when I went out to pose. The preview is my proof. It shows the shower of ****ards running away. Boy would I have had a rant had I done a blog yesterday.

Happy Gerbil

Today at long last I have done a good deed. Akon our gerbil must be on his last legs, I think in gerbil years he must be about three hundred and five. Well, tonight he is busy with a new addition to his home. Its has took me a couple of hours, locked away in my workshop/garage (no room for a car).

My power tools and I teamed up to make Stairs for Akons Country Club home, and he loves them. The interest in Gerbils started a few years ago ,when Charlotte's Nan and Grandad thought that two gerbils would make a nice birthday present. (BAD MOVE).

It didn't seen long before I was resuscitating one of the gerbils after he collapsed in a heap for no apparent reason. It was to be just over a week before Carol and I went on a secret shopping trip to purchase a Gerbil lookalike for our departed friend.

We made doubly sure we got a male replacement but failed to get a lookalike and had to break the news to Charlotte. The small detail we missed was of course both Gerbils were little lady's.
At one count we were up to sixteen gerbils. With help from the pet shop we did manage to segregate the sexes and the need for more homes and extensions.

The Girls were housed in a palace with two levels and a lookout tower, Plus an external tube run that was rotated between their home and the Boys Country Club. The pet shop were very helpful. (Cost me a Fortune) And I was the one that cleaned them all out.

Akon is lonely. He is the last he seemed to be struggling to get up his tube from his bedroom to his kitchen/diner. He took to scratching about and generally being noisy to get attention, and a human hand to transfer him from one of the two levels.

Akon has now regained his independence and his dignity, and I may ad seems very impressed with my handywork. I think we got a happy Gerbil

Sorry I dont have a picture. I will see if I can get one tomorrow.

On The Run

In my very first blog I explained who inspired me to start out on this new form of media. It was a friend I hadn't seen for a number of years, Nick Margerrison. (or should I call him Nick Sheffield). Like me Nick is a top radio person, and I was fascinated to see he had embarked on a mission to become a stand up comedian. Don't even think about it

I also mentioned the fact that he is pretty good on a PC. Not two weeks in to blogging, he found me. Great to hear from him today. We are going to have a winter barbie. Well it will be winter by the time I Finnish all my jobs.

Big day at work tomorrow. A team photo shoot for the Dune FM 10k run. As if I am actually going to do it. What I do need from you is some good excuses or ways of escaping the embarrassment and humiliation, of not making it further than two hundred yards.

Email me your excuses via profile page or post them as comments . Also if you get a minute check out Nick blog on the link below.

You want to see the size of mine !!!

Had another busy day today. Went to see a friend of mine, Trevor Wilson at a secret location to tend to my pumkin. Trevor is the organizer of a very unique event and has very kindly let me grow my Giant Pumpkin at his gaff. If you are into growing big things you will understand the need for secrecy.

Each year the folk of Mere Brow Nr Ormskirk battle it out in the name of charity, to grow the biggest pumpkin. The year before last a Great British record was set by two school kids. This year the nominated charity is the NSPCC. This will be my third year in the competition. My main roll will be to host the weigh in and have a good day out.

I managed to amaze the locals last year with my 301 pound pumpkin. Some of this weight though came from my interviewing technique.(standing on the scales with my pumpkin.

The 2006 Mere Brow Giant Pumpkin Competition Weigh In will be held at 2pm Saturday 21st October 2006 at:Brandreth Farm, Tarlscough Lane, Burscough, Nr. Ormskirk, Lancashire, L40 0RJ. Click on the link below if you have a Big One and you would like me to weigh it. Or come along and join in the fun.

State of Shock

I have a little catching up to do with my blog.
Had a little chat on Friday with fellow blogger Eiain who gave me the information I needed to get my own web site www.daveturley.co.uk . Don't go yet because I have been pulling my hair out trying to Design my site and upload it.

In a fit of desperation I wondered away from my new friend (the keyboard) long enough to agree to take Carol to a shop.

How was I to know it was a carpet shop. You want to see how much she spent!!!!
Now I have to sort out my floorboards and re-decorate the Living room and hall.
I am totally stressed out now. Not finished the Bathroom or got my website working.
Bet I dont sleep now.

By the way click on the link below for Eiains Blog

Don't Like IT !!

Soon to be announced is the line up for the Dune FM Running team.
I can reveal that I have been approached by management and asked to take part in the Dune FM Seaside 10k on Sunday October 22nd at Victoria park in Southport. I have today at work been likened to linford Christie, (maybe to do with my huge lunchbox).

unfortunately they were getting me mixed up with Tony Christie. Now as mentioned only yesterday and in previous blogs, I have very high, extremely high cholesterol, a broken Metatarsal, and haven't run since collapsing in a heap after my school cross country. (not that long ago really)

We think a compromise has been reached, and in the name of charity Dan Roach our Drive-Time (single, hasn't got a girlfriend) jock has agreed to push me in a wheelchair. We may even dress us as Lou and Andy or I might drop out at the last minute. If you fancy coming to watch or get involved check out the link to our Radio Station website.

Are they making a film ?

Had a task to do as soon as I arrived home today. My blog is updated on my laptop in the dining room half of the lounge/diner at Turley Towers, just four inches away from my drumkit (I am still quite pants at playing them, so not ready for playing on stage)

Anyway, while at work today one of our I T experts was doing his stuff (making computers and printers work). When I happened to mention about the way my Broadband connection throws me off-line at random intervals. Try this said Nick and gave me some really easy things to try in an effort to sort out my irritating little problem.

Two and a half hours it took me to get back on-line but I got some screen shots to show him tomorrow. (I can pretend iI went away for my holidays when I show him my snaps. At least he will be interested in them).

Whilst driving home filled with all my new computer knowledge, I spotted a film crew. Not your little TV camera with a light on the top but massive Lights, Big wagons, crew and actors. Who were they ? What were they doing ? What's the film, who's in it ? If You know please let me know. They were at the Tesco Garage and Spar shop on the main route between Southport and Ormskirk. I would normally stop, but my head was full of stuff to fix my compu.......

X-Factor treat

Did you see the X-Factor this week ?.
And do you remember the girl who sang "Time to say goodbye" Then, did just that, by telling the judges she wasn't actually old enough to go through to boot camp.

Only fourteen, I don't believe it, she looked older, she certainly sounded it. On watching this event unfold I had a really strange feeling of "I THINK I KNOW HER" but didn't know were I would know her from. (I left school ages ago)

Even whilst at work today I was telling my listeners (THAT GIRLIE FROM THE X-FACTOR WILL BE ON LATER WITH MY MATE DAN ROACH)It was only when she arrived at the Dune FM studio's did the penny drop. Saw her mum and sister first then Paris from Crosby.

My new claim to fame is that Paris from x-factor was singing on our Radio station stage for the Crosby Christmas light switch on with her Little sister. (another great talent). And I know them. Paris has just turned fifteen and will have the world at her feet. It was a pleasure to meet her and her family. What a star.
If you would like to see more click on the link and go to the DuneFM galleries.


Good Luck. XX

Look what I got sent

Back to work for me and School for Charlotte today. One of the perks for me with having Charlie being back at school, is the quality of my butties for work has improved. Carol is now forced to get proper stuff for butties, and make them or face the wrath of a teenager. (I don't Matter).

I once, put up with Cheese slices and Branston butties every day for nearly three years. That's probably why my cholesterol was through the roof. Anyway Glad to be back at work and made up my listeners and work mates missed me.

Thank you to a very good friend of mine from my Hospital Radio days, Brian ( he was my programme controller) he came across these little pearls of wisdom, and I feel I ought to share them with you. (they are very funny and true).


GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:

1. No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2. When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3. If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4. Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5. You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6. Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7. Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8. You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9. Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10. The best place to be when you're sad is Grandma's lap.

Back on the Radio Tomorrow

As mentioned yesterday the European Space Agency crashed their orbiter SMART-1 into the moon this morning. To cloudy to see it in real life but found out it was to be featured on The Sky At Night. They did mention it but no pictures. Bet they didn’t crash it at all. Bet they sold it on EBay, something I’ve not done yet.

My summer holidays are over, finished, come to an end. Back to work in the morning, hope I can remember how to work the studio equipment. In for about 9.00 and On Air between 10.00 and 2.00pm. If you are in the UK you can listen online, just click on the link below.

May have to go to my mums on the way home. I usually go on a Tuesday but she's going to Ireland with my uncle Alfie and Aunty Jean for a holiday. They have never been and can’t wait. Bet mum gets me to cut her grass if I go.

Looking forward to catching up with my regular listeners tomorrow and you, if you get a minute.

Its all happening on the Moon

At last, a chance to get my telescope out. On the news the other night I saw a piece about The European Space Agency and their orbiter SMART-1 and how it is expected to crash on the surface of the moon on Sunday morning — on purpose.

The 285-kilogram spacecraft, which was launched in September 2003 and has been orbiting the moon since November 2004, will end its mission by crashing into the moon.

The dust and rock from the impact could rise up to 20 kilometers from the lunar surface and may be visible to amateur astronomers using home telescopes.

SMART-1 is small (about the size of a dishwasher, but with 14-metre solar wings),
And looks remarkably like the object Wallace and Grommet found on the Moon in "A GRAND DAY OUT". Crackin Film Eh lad.

The impact is expected to occur in the Lake of Excellentiae in the southern hemisphere at around 7.42.

Hope I see it. What a waste

It's Friday

As a rule I love Fridays, the whole weekend to look forward to with no work till Monday. It doesn’t feel the same though when it’s the last Friday of your summer holidays.

Lots of bits and bobs to sort today and a last minute barbeque, plus more than a few beers. Hence the late and probably incoherent blog. A bit of a practice run really for a Saturday night gathering of a few friends. Seemed to go dark quite early today and pretty cold too.(soon be Christmas)

While out doing bits and bobs today, managed to agree with Carol (head of making dinners) on a new livingroom/diningroom carpet and floor coverings for the kitchen and bathroom oh and the hall. Mr Man is coming to measure up on Monday once Carol is out of bed. (About two in the afternoon)

Think that’s why the few beers went down so well. Not only will it be expensive but I have to take all the existing floor covering up, and make good dodgy floorboards.

Plan for tomorrow is to chill, Sweet home Chicago and Freebird on my CD player full volume and a good de-stress as I play along on my Drum Kit. Oh and friends later.