Apart from my ever growing hatred of arrogant, blind, bullying and dozy wagon drivers. The thing that scares me the most whilst out and about in my car is the sight of a cap.
They say that the older you get the more infantile you get. Take this as an example, Babies wet their nappies and some old biddies wet their pants. See where I am going.
Some (not all) people, who have a tendency to wear a flat cap also have the tendency to be really crap drivers. And as an advisory warning from me, should be avoided at all cost.
Likewise their younger counterparts, (who also seem to be prone to premature balding too) and after a few bottles of St*lla wetting their pants ( I would imagine) Have took to wearing a slightly more modern version on the flat cap, called a baseball cap.
Once one of these caps is worn in a car seems to turn the wearer into a more confidant but equally as crap driver. And as above should be avoided.
Got stuck behind one for eight miles on my way to work this morning. The other one neally ran into the side of my car because he didnt know what the little white liney things at the T juction were for.
I will leave you to work out which was which.
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Thursday, November 30, 2006
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Not So Happy Shopper
Being a Tuesday, today is the day I call in to a supermarket in an effort to pick up a small and sometimes difficult list of items and objects as requested by my mum.
First task is to find a parking bay actually wide enough to take a motor car. From past experience I have discovered, the further away from the store the larger the bay.
These bays are usually less well lit and carry the added risk of finding on return one of your windows smashed by some PRI*K looking for loose change or your tax disc.
Once inside the store, as if by magic I somehow became invisible. Everybody who pushed pulled or swung a trolley managed to hit me with it.
Everybody seemed to want to stand in front of my target item and just stare at it, preventing me from getting anywhere near. If not a punter, it would be a member of staff moving all of the fresh produce to the rear of the shelf in an effort to make you purchase manky out of date stuff.
Have yoy tried to buy your favourite brand of pickles or sauce?. Whole isles of own brand stuff. What are they on? If my mum says Bartons Pickles THAT is what she wants.
Then ,there is the queue at the till. How many vouchers can a woman fit in a purse? Then to top it all pay the remainder in pennies.
Why do I always pick the wrong queue?
Today I opted for a middle distance bay, one with empty spaces either side. By the time I emerged from the store both spaces had been taken by knackerd old bangers, leaving me about six inches per side to squeeze me and my haul inside the car.
All that for a pint of milk an a loaf.
First task is to find a parking bay actually wide enough to take a motor car. From past experience I have discovered, the further away from the store the larger the bay.
These bays are usually less well lit and carry the added risk of finding on return one of your windows smashed by some PRI*K looking for loose change or your tax disc.
Once inside the store, as if by magic I somehow became invisible. Everybody who pushed pulled or swung a trolley managed to hit me with it.
Everybody seemed to want to stand in front of my target item and just stare at it, preventing me from getting anywhere near. If not a punter, it would be a member of staff moving all of the fresh produce to the rear of the shelf in an effort to make you purchase manky out of date stuff.
Have yoy tried to buy your favourite brand of pickles or sauce?. Whole isles of own brand stuff. What are they on? If my mum says Bartons Pickles THAT is what she wants.
Then ,there is the queue at the till. How many vouchers can a woman fit in a purse? Then to top it all pay the remainder in pennies.
Why do I always pick the wrong queue?
Today I opted for a middle distance bay, one with empty spaces either side. By the time I emerged from the store both spaces had been taken by knackerd old bangers, leaving me about six inches per side to squeeze me and my haul inside the car.
All that for a pint of milk an a loaf.
Shhhh we have let some off
Well I have to admit, I am a little surprised at myself for letting my blog slip. In my defence I will use the excuse of looking after Carol since her trip to hospital, and a series of minor problems with my car plus one or two flat packs to assemble to (Dress) Turley Towers after the recent renovations.
This weekend saw a few friends at the Towers for a tour of its facilities, and a meal at our newly assembled flatpack table.
After which we all retired (very quietly) to the back garden, to let our unused bonfire fireworks off.
Being more than a week after bonfire night, we were very aware of the possible anti social nature of setting off so many fireworks in our neighbourhood. And of course the risk of an ASBO and the scandal associated with one.
So with stiffled giggles, and feeling very naughty, we started the task. We realized after a very short time that we were in fact the only people at it, and the supermarket specials were in fact, quite loud. We spent a good half an hour or more whispering and shhhhhhing the fireworks as they went off.
We didn't last much longer than the half hour because with buy one get one free we knew if we continued through them all , we would get busted.. And pretty soon to. As we filed back into the house we caught sight of a neighbour and declared "don't know were those were coming from... Noisy B**tards."
May save the rest till New Year
This weekend saw a few friends at the Towers for a tour of its facilities, and a meal at our newly assembled flatpack table.
After which we all retired (very quietly) to the back garden, to let our unused bonfire fireworks off.
Being more than a week after bonfire night, we were very aware of the possible anti social nature of setting off so many fireworks in our neighbourhood. And of course the risk of an ASBO and the scandal associated with one.
So with stiffled giggles, and feeling very naughty, we started the task. We realized after a very short time that we were in fact the only people at it, and the supermarket specials were in fact, quite loud. We spent a good half an hour or more whispering and shhhhhhing the fireworks as they went off.
We didn't last much longer than the half hour because with buy one get one free we knew if we continued through them all , we would get busted.. And pretty soon to. As we filed back into the house we caught sight of a neighbour and declared "don't know were those were coming from... Noisy B**tards."
May save the rest till New Year
Monday, November 13, 2006
Trafford Centre
With all the work that has been going on at Turley Towers, this weekend I gave in to Charlotte and took her on a return visit to The Trafford Centre.
Charlotte had been for an hour long trip to the centre last week with her school as reward for good behavior or grassing someone up.
It had been a while since my last outing and poor old Carol, had never been, so we removed all the valuables from the car including my satellite navigation equipment, printed a map and headed for Manchester. (you can tell I've had my car broken into in Manchester cant you).
Carol was asking me before we set off If I could remember what it was like. As if by magic and just from memory alone I was able to tell her about...... A glass dome, lots of fast food outlets with massive ques. And an atmosphere much the same as shuffling around in an airing cupboard.
We were not disappointed. The weather on Saturday was atrocious. Wind,, nearly blew us off Barton Bridge. All but the last car park we tried were full, and to top it all, we had to walk from our temporary out of town car park in the rain.
The entrance was through a department store with very over priced goods in it like glass candlesticks for 140 pound......Each. An assault course made out of oddly placed displays and even had staff trying to trip you up, by driving little radio controlled toys at you feet.
The airing cupboard at home wasn't a bad example really. Other than the fact we would have stayed dry, saved petrol, wouldn't have nearly gone to Leeds on the way home cos we only had a map to get there.
Plus Charlotte was bored without her 22 class mates.
Charlotte had been for an hour long trip to the centre last week with her school as reward for good behavior or grassing someone up.
It had been a while since my last outing and poor old Carol, had never been, so we removed all the valuables from the car including my satellite navigation equipment, printed a map and headed for Manchester. (you can tell I've had my car broken into in Manchester cant you).
Carol was asking me before we set off If I could remember what it was like. As if by magic and just from memory alone I was able to tell her about...... A glass dome, lots of fast food outlets with massive ques. And an atmosphere much the same as shuffling around in an airing cupboard.
We were not disappointed. The weather on Saturday was atrocious. Wind,, nearly blew us off Barton Bridge. All but the last car park we tried were full, and to top it all, we had to walk from our temporary out of town car park in the rain.
The entrance was through a department store with very over priced goods in it like glass candlesticks for 140 pound......Each. An assault course made out of oddly placed displays and even had staff trying to trip you up, by driving little radio controlled toys at you feet.
The airing cupboard at home wasn't a bad example really. Other than the fact we would have stayed dry, saved petrol, wouldn't have nearly gone to Leeds on the way home cos we only had a map to get there.
Plus Charlotte was bored without her 22 class mates.
Thursday, November 09, 2006
Two days hard labour
Back to work tomorrow. Boy am I glad. Carol has been ill for two years now, and has just undergone an operation, part of which, was to confirm the fact that ..... She's been ill for the last two years.
At long last some treatment for her condition. Light at the end of, at times a very dark tunnel and Some hope for her to get back into the rat race.
What I found really odd, was the fact that the hospital gave me a note. This note was intended to reinforce the fact that "I" was to look after Carol.
Tonight, after two days hard labour, and bearing in mind, I have work in the morning. I had the cheek to ask Carol to make me a cup of tea. "I CANT" came carol's reply "Check the note,,,,, I cant use a kettle or cooker for 48 hours"
Convinced I had read the document fully, I explained "You cant drive or operate Machinery" She made me read the note again, after of course, betting me One Hundred Thousand Pounds. And Bugger me, it says she can't use a kettle or a cooker......... How did they know??
At long last some treatment for her condition. Light at the end of, at times a very dark tunnel and Some hope for her to get back into the rat race.
What I found really odd, was the fact that the hospital gave me a note. This note was intended to reinforce the fact that "I" was to look after Carol.
Tonight, after two days hard labour, and bearing in mind, I have work in the morning. I had the cheek to ask Carol to make me a cup of tea. "I CANT" came carol's reply "Check the note,,,,, I cant use a kettle or cooker for 48 hours"
Convinced I had read the document fully, I explained "You cant drive or operate Machinery" She made me read the note again, after of course, betting me One Hundred Thousand Pounds. And Bugger me, it says she can't use a kettle or a cooker......... How did they know??
Monday, November 06, 2006
I'm Going To Get Done
Today is November the 6th. Its one day after bonfire night and I still haven't set off my grossly overpriced fireworks.
One reason for this is Charlotte. She had thrown a sickie and was far too ill to go into the garden to watch me fumble about with one of those burning stick thingies, trying to light tapers sufficiently enough to successfully ignite the high explosive paper tubes I had purchased.
Mind you, as a rule it is very rare to spend something like bonfire night as a family. We usually have friends round. It sneaked up on us. I had been meaning to call a couple of friends but as always left it till the last minute and then decided that it would be to late.
It is my strong belief that if I had arranged for people to come around, she may have made the effort to put a coat on and step outside.
The only other way would be to go to the nearest bus shelter wearing hoods and set them off there. That would probably appeal to a fifteen year old. Then we could nip into town and hang about the closed shops.
Carol has to go into Hospital tomorrow for an operation. All things being well a day or two to recover. We may be able to set them off at the weekend. I hope I don't get done for setting them off a week late. I know they are the in things to have but I don't want an ASBO....... Yet
Sunday, November 05, 2006
Christmas
Who would have thought that, with entering a giant pumpkin into the Mere Brow Giant Pumpkin Competition, celebrating Halloween, cold weather and Bonfire Night around the corner. Christmas being next seemed to come as a bit of a shock for me this week.
Whilst doing my show I noticed our news team had put a poll on the Dune FM website, asking about Christmas. FIFTY percent of our listeners had actually done some Christmas shopping. WHY !!! What have they bought ?. I can just see people opening their presents. "OH What a lovely summer T-Shirt" " A Barbie,,, That will come in handy".
Maybe I am just a little miffed cos I've only just got around to putting my decks away from last year. Doesn't time fly. On the Plus side,,,, I can use my annual line on my woman at home.......... Soon Be Christmas .... Carol.
Well done to my Citroen Garage by the way. Took mine in for the recall on Monday morning. Got a lift into work and was later collected by a Girlie and taken back to the Garage. Didn't cost a penny for the work. (bet you don't here that often)
Whilst doing my show I noticed our news team had put a poll on the Dune FM website, asking about Christmas. FIFTY percent of our listeners had actually done some Christmas shopping. WHY !!! What have they bought ?. I can just see people opening their presents. "OH What a lovely summer T-Shirt" " A Barbie,,, That will come in handy".
Maybe I am just a little miffed cos I've only just got around to putting my decks away from last year. Doesn't time fly. On the Plus side,,,, I can use my annual line on my woman at home.......... Soon Be Christmas .... Carol.
Well done to my Citroen Garage by the way. Took mine in for the recall on Monday morning. Got a lift into work and was later collected by a Girlie and taken back to the Garage. Didn't cost a penny for the work. (bet you don't here that often)
Sunday, October 29, 2006
AT LAST
It looks like the DIY nightmare at home is at long last coming to an end.
Took the whole week of half term off work to complete the Bathroom, Hall and Lounge.
As always, things never go exactly to plan. Carpet for hall and lounge, Wednesday and bathroom flooring ....... Friday. TWO DAYS up at the crack of dawn waiting for fitters to arrive. NO TELLY, RADIO, SEATS for nearly 7 hours on Wednesday. New carpet looks great, however, the fitters removed a door, saying it had to be trimmed, and left it that way too. (not our job mate) ****ards.
Friday wasn't much better. Six hours trying not to go to the Loo. Spent the weekend putting away all the tools used over the past few weeks. Ready for a rest now.
Took the whole week of half term off work to complete the Bathroom, Hall and Lounge.
As always, things never go exactly to plan. Carpet for hall and lounge, Wednesday and bathroom flooring ....... Friday. TWO DAYS up at the crack of dawn waiting for fitters to arrive. NO TELLY, RADIO, SEATS for nearly 7 hours on Wednesday. New carpet looks great, however, the fitters removed a door, saying it had to be trimmed, and left it that way too. (not our job mate) ****ards.
Friday wasn't much better. Six hours trying not to go to the Loo. Spent the weekend putting away all the tools used over the past few weeks. Ready for a rest now.
Friday, October 27, 2006
Giant Pumpkins
For the 12th year in succession The Mere Brow Giant Pumpkin Competition took place at Brandreth Farm, Nr Ormskirk.
This was also my third time there as compare. The competition also helps out a nominated Charity each year. This year is the turn of The NSPCC.
Its a fun day out, and the pumpkins have to be seen in real life to be believed. This year, as last, I had a Pumpkin entered that didn't come up to size but that is partly due to not giving it enough love, care and attention.
What was a bit of a let down this year was a regular feature of the day was missing. Muck for Luck, (with a Duck). The Idea is a duck is placed in a small pen with a paper floor, on which is a series of numbers, each of which can be purchased for a sum of money. (for the chosen Charity).
I asked as soon as I arrived for the day of fun, the ducks whereabouts', only to be told "She wont be here........... we ate her............ What cruel and heartless ****ards. (Bet they hadn't she must have been at least 12 years old).
Anyway a good day was had by all, and my tiddler of a pumpkin came a respectable one place ahead of my workmate Dan's.
Check out the link below for more
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
Jane McDonald
I know,,,,, its Wednesday, and I haven't blogged for ages but our new carpet arrived today, and it was a bit of a rush getting everything ready for it. More on that later.
Friday started out to be a great day. Jane McDonald was to play the Southport theatre in the evening and had agreed once again to be a guest on my Radio Programme.
I have interviewed Jane a few times before, and have been to see a few of her shows. Last time around I took Carol, Charlotte and my mum too.
Our interview went very well, emails from all over England. (People listening on line). Lots of fun and a bit of gossip. I was even invited along to the show and arrangements were made to meet up with Jane backstage. (All very showbiz and exiting) Plus on this tour Jane is working with her mum. (two babes in one night eh)
As well as presenting my show, I have one or two extra duties. Friday is always the worst day of the week for one particular task. Especially if the member of staff who provides me with essential information from the HQ end wants an early dart. (Which she did after leading me well and truly up the garden path).
Hence a late finish for me and a very apologetic text to Jane for missing our mini date. Carol took it all very well too. It was to be our first night out together in ages, and she was all dressed up and ready to go.
Click on the link for a trip to Jane's website. (she's a loose woman too) on ITV 1
Friday started out to be a great day. Jane McDonald was to play the Southport theatre in the evening and had agreed once again to be a guest on my Radio Programme.
I have interviewed Jane a few times before, and have been to see a few of her shows. Last time around I took Carol, Charlotte and my mum too.
Our interview went very well, emails from all over England. (People listening on line). Lots of fun and a bit of gossip. I was even invited along to the show and arrangements were made to meet up with Jane backstage. (All very showbiz and exiting) Plus on this tour Jane is working with her mum. (two babes in one night eh)
As well as presenting my show, I have one or two extra duties. Friday is always the worst day of the week for one particular task. Especially if the member of staff who provides me with essential information from the HQ end wants an early dart. (Which she did after leading me well and truly up the garden path).
Hence a late finish for me and a very apologetic text to Jane for missing our mini date. Carol took it all very well too. It was to be our first night out together in ages, and she was all dressed up and ready to go.
Click on the link for a trip to Jane's website. (she's a loose woman too) on ITV 1
Saturday, October 21, 2006
They want my car back
Received a letter the other day from my local garage. It so happens that this particular garage are fans of my radio show and therefore think I am minted. Saying that my car is a cracker, so I suppose it's understandable.
There would seem to be a little problem with my gear box. As luck would have it the car is still under warranty. However this is the second time its been called in, my tyres are starting to get worn and the exhaust cant last much longer.
This was the most expensive car I have ever purchased. It was my intention to keep it in tip top condition and keep it for years. This feeling of pride didn't last long though.
Whilst doing my show one day, I saw on car park TV what I believed at the time, to be a minor bump in our car park. A staff member appeared to back into my car, get out to have a look then drive off home.
Must have been a total coincidence as nothing was ever said, a scratch did appear on my car but none on his the following day.
Called in to the garage today to book it in for the work, and while there, asked about trading my car in to start all over again.
The salesman knew me. How strange is that......... Not from the Radio but from school.
Isn't it a small world.
Fingers crossed he said he would sort me out with a good deal. Wait and see !!!!
There would seem to be a little problem with my gear box. As luck would have it the car is still under warranty. However this is the second time its been called in, my tyres are starting to get worn and the exhaust cant last much longer.
This was the most expensive car I have ever purchased. It was my intention to keep it in tip top condition and keep it for years. This feeling of pride didn't last long though.
Whilst doing my show one day, I saw on car park TV what I believed at the time, to be a minor bump in our car park. A staff member appeared to back into my car, get out to have a look then drive off home.
Must have been a total coincidence as nothing was ever said, a scratch did appear on my car but none on his the following day.
Called in to the garage today to book it in for the work, and while there, asked about trading my car in to start all over again.
The salesman knew me. How strange is that......... Not from the Radio but from school.
Isn't it a small world.
Fingers crossed he said he would sort me out with a good deal. Wait and see !!!!
Thursday, October 12, 2006
Mixed Emotions
Hasn't this week gone quick ?
Tuesday is my regular day to stop off at a Supermarket on my way home to get my Mum some bits and bobs, then off to her pad for some DIY jobs. This weeks job was a very wet lawn to cut in the dark.
I felt a little Guilty because Carol was at home with a Very Dead Gerbil. Akon (cos he was lonely) had made his last trip up his recently constructed gerbil staircase.
It was to be my job to dig the hole in our garden and bury him after conducting a short service.
He was the last in a succession of gerbils to live at Turley Towers
It was very sad but I didn't mind and I was getting used to trampling about in mud by this time.
Wednesday was a little bit of a dark day. Felt a little down really. House caked in mud, no gerbil and still not finished the house make over.
However A few things did help cheer me up. First was my mate Dan, (Dan Roach's Hits and Headlines Drive)
He had taken the time to write a little Poem about Akon and even read it out On Air for me, as he knew I would blubber. I would let you read it but I put it in the bin.
The second was in my dinner break. Had a quick walk into Southport Center and was recognized and approached by a female listener who said she loved my voice, and loved my programme. Hope It wasn't a case of mistaken Identity.
Tuesday is my regular day to stop off at a Supermarket on my way home to get my Mum some bits and bobs, then off to her pad for some DIY jobs. This weeks job was a very wet lawn to cut in the dark.
I felt a little Guilty because Carol was at home with a Very Dead Gerbil. Akon (cos he was lonely) had made his last trip up his recently constructed gerbil staircase.
It was to be my job to dig the hole in our garden and bury him after conducting a short service.
He was the last in a succession of gerbils to live at Turley Towers
It was very sad but I didn't mind and I was getting used to trampling about in mud by this time.
Wednesday was a little bit of a dark day. Felt a little down really. House caked in mud, no gerbil and still not finished the house make over.
However A few things did help cheer me up. First was my mate Dan, (Dan Roach's Hits and Headlines Drive)
He had taken the time to write a little Poem about Akon and even read it out On Air for me, as he knew I would blubber. I would let you read it but I put it in the bin.
The second was in my dinner break. Had a quick walk into Southport Center and was recognized and approached by a female listener who said she loved my voice, and loved my programme. Hope It wasn't a case of mistaken Identity.
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Knock and Run
Would you believe it? The amount of companies now playing the old kids game Knock and Run.
We had a call from British Gas to advise us they were to arrive to service our boiler sometime between 12.00pm and 6.00pm
Carol made the decision to spend most of the afternoon sitting in the front room. That way she would be able to observe all the comings and goings of the whole street. Remembering the boiler was in the airing cupboard and surrounded by towels she ventured into the bathroom to move the said towels to ease access to the boiler.
In what must have been two minutes. A stealth Gas fitter must have parked around the corner and hand delivered a card informing us of the fact that nobody was at home, and left a telephone number for us to call for a new appointment.
Carol instantly rang the number to protest at the sneaky antics of the engineer, and to ask for him to return to our address. She was told this would not be possible as the engineer was now on another job and unable to return.
Wow all this within FIVE minutes Sneaky and Quick.
The big surprise of the day, and quite remarkable really, was the Postman, he tried to deliver a registered letter whilst Carol was on the phone to the gas people. Talk about knock and run. He too left a note for Carol to let her know she wasn't in.
We had a call from British Gas to advise us they were to arrive to service our boiler sometime between 12.00pm and 6.00pm
Carol made the decision to spend most of the afternoon sitting in the front room. That way she would be able to observe all the comings and goings of the whole street. Remembering the boiler was in the airing cupboard and surrounded by towels she ventured into the bathroom to move the said towels to ease access to the boiler.
In what must have been two minutes. A stealth Gas fitter must have parked around the corner and hand delivered a card informing us of the fact that nobody was at home, and left a telephone number for us to call for a new appointment.
Carol instantly rang the number to protest at the sneaky antics of the engineer, and to ask for him to return to our address. She was told this would not be possible as the engineer was now on another job and unable to return.
Wow all this within FIVE minutes Sneaky and Quick.
The big surprise of the day, and quite remarkable really, was the Postman, he tried to deliver a registered letter whilst Carol was on the phone to the gas people. Talk about knock and run. He too left a note for Carol to let her know she wasn't in.
Monday, October 09, 2006
Ouch
It seems like I have been locked in my bathroom doing one thing or another for months. Well at long last I can say Job done, and tick a box. (nearly)
Had the house to myself today because Carol took Charlotte to stay with relatives. Charlotte is starting a work placement at a hair sylist in Lancaster for the next two weeks, working alongside her big sister Laura.
With both of them out of the way I could actually work in stints slightly longer that ten minutes. We now have a fully fitted bathroom, Tiled and painted with cabinets and stuff. With fully fitted floor boards. Just need flooring now
Hall is done. Next Job Lounge.
We need to get this done quick because we have ordered a Carpet for Lounge diner and hall. All floorboards fixed apart from lounge. (and it needs one wall papering and the rest painting.
Had a tidy up ready for carol to have a paint. Moved my Drums into Charlotte's room (if she could only see it)
Finished the working day with a trip to the Tip and managed to trap my finger between a stack of left over tiles. Ouch that hurt.
Had the house to myself today because Carol took Charlotte to stay with relatives. Charlotte is starting a work placement at a hair sylist in Lancaster for the next two weeks, working alongside her big sister Laura.
With both of them out of the way I could actually work in stints slightly longer that ten minutes. We now have a fully fitted bathroom, Tiled and painted with cabinets and stuff. With fully fitted floor boards. Just need flooring now
Hall is done. Next Job Lounge.
We need to get this done quick because we have ordered a Carpet for Lounge diner and hall. All floorboards fixed apart from lounge. (and it needs one wall papering and the rest painting.
Had a tidy up ready for carol to have a paint. Moved my Drums into Charlotte's room (if she could only see it)
Finished the working day with a trip to the Tip and managed to trap my finger between a stack of left over tiles. Ouch that hurt.
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
Smile Please
Don't know about you but I hate having my picture taken. Today at work our boss had organized a mass photo shoot. It was a little bit like a visit from a vet to a farm with foot and mouth, only we would survive the shoot with just the dread of seeing the resulting pictures.
The Presenters and the Sales staff all clean, polished and pressed were to endure the same fate. What was good about today was the opportunity to meet up with the guys and girls who keep the radio station working throughout the weekend and evening . These are the members of staff who usually miss out on having to endure standing up against a plain white background staring into the lens of a very expensive camera until you go cross eyed, blink or have a strange facial twinge as your stomach muscles cave in and let it all sag out.
Still we have the new pictures to look forward to, oh what joy. How fat will I look, did I squint blink, sag ?. And what or who is going to appear in place of the Blank screen.
Anyway you will be able to see at the same time as me as the pics appear on the DuneFM website soon. Click on the little link thingy to see in a few days.
But Please remember I quit smoking nearly two years ago, I am on tablets that have a side effect of making you put on weight.(Honest) AND I love food.
The Presenters and the Sales staff all clean, polished and pressed were to endure the same fate. What was good about today was the opportunity to meet up with the guys and girls who keep the radio station working throughout the weekend and evening . These are the members of staff who usually miss out on having to endure standing up against a plain white background staring into the lens of a very expensive camera until you go cross eyed, blink or have a strange facial twinge as your stomach muscles cave in and let it all sag out.
Still we have the new pictures to look forward to, oh what joy. How fat will I look, did I squint blink, sag ?. And what or who is going to appear in place of the Blank screen.
Anyway you will be able to see at the same time as me as the pics appear on the DuneFM website soon. Click on the little link thingy to see in a few days.
But Please remember I quit smoking nearly two years ago, I am on tablets that have a side effect of making you put on weight.(Honest) AND I love food.
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
That was close !!
I have to admit it, I am a very slow tiler. With just one wall to go, It was possible to count up exactly how may tiles it would take to finally finish the bathroom. Two more boxes.
It seems like we have been buying tiles for ever, I wouldn't mind, there was an article on brainiac, demonstrating how much room you would actually need to swing a cat, and our bathroom ain't big enough.
Not one to miss out on a trip to my favorite DIY store, I seized the opportunity to make the last tile purchase. Making sure the chosen trolley was in good working order and not likely to stray to the left or right once loaded with tiles and yet another massive, Big, Giant, Very expensive tub of fix and grout.
On arriving at the now very well known storage area for out Grey Marble Giant tiles........... SHOCK, HORROR, AGHHHH. They had ran out. B***dy typical bet they've been discontinued just like the kitchen (one cupboard short).
The race was on. To the next town. As luck would have it BINGO they had a whole pallet load. Just got the two boxes, thought better of panic buying. Apart that is, for another pack of floor boards, (next job on the list) At least I will be able to whip my power tool out and get some screwing done soon.
It seems like we have been buying tiles for ever, I wouldn't mind, there was an article on brainiac, demonstrating how much room you would actually need to swing a cat, and our bathroom ain't big enough.
Not one to miss out on a trip to my favorite DIY store, I seized the opportunity to make the last tile purchase. Making sure the chosen trolley was in good working order and not likely to stray to the left or right once loaded with tiles and yet another massive, Big, Giant, Very expensive tub of fix and grout.
On arriving at the now very well known storage area for out Grey Marble Giant tiles........... SHOCK, HORROR, AGHHHH. They had ran out. B***dy typical bet they've been discontinued just like the kitchen (one cupboard short).
The race was on. To the next town. As luck would have it BINGO they had a whole pallet load. Just got the two boxes, thought better of panic buying. Apart that is, for another pack of floor boards, (next job on the list) At least I will be able to whip my power tool out and get some screwing done soon.
Monday, October 02, 2006
How Big ??
I Know I did say I would fill you in on what has been going on with Carol, but its been another busy few days. Carol hasn't been very well for about three years now. It all started when she collapsed at work and had to be rushed to hospital.
On arrival a whole team of very experienced cool, confident specialists in anything you care to mention descended on her, stabilized her condition and then dropped a bombshell. Carol has a large lump the size of a grapefruit up her bum. Here is a sandwich and a cup of tea, you can go home now, but go to see your doctor tomorrow.
WHAT !!!!!!! True Honest
Its not been much better since. The poor girl has not been able to work and has been to see a specialist (in avoiding the question) diagnosed with every possible ailment on this planet but all without treatment available.
On reaching total despair Carol dared go to her Doctor who said. Why have you left it so long. You need to go and see somebody. Too right, someone that can find that Grapefruit, cos it's not been seen for the last three years.
No wonder she can be a nark.
On arrival a whole team of very experienced cool, confident specialists in anything you care to mention descended on her, stabilized her condition and then dropped a bombshell. Carol has a large lump the size of a grapefruit up her bum. Here is a sandwich and a cup of tea, you can go home now, but go to see your doctor tomorrow.
WHAT !!!!!!! True Honest
Its not been much better since. The poor girl has not been able to work and has been to see a specialist (in avoiding the question) diagnosed with every possible ailment on this planet but all without treatment available.
On reaching total despair Carol dared go to her Doctor who said. Why have you left it so long. You need to go and see somebody. Too right, someone that can find that Grapefruit, cos it's not been seen for the last three years.
No wonder she can be a nark.
Thursday, September 28, 2006
What a week
As you will have noticed I have been absent without leave. Last weekend was so very busy, the time just flew by.
On Friday we received a call from Mr Gate man, we had nearly forgotten about a set of gates we had ordered, what seemed, like ages ago. They were due to arrive with an expert fitter early on Saturday morning. Being weekend getting up seemed like a big job and such a strain, manageable (just).
Mr Gate man was running a little late so by mid afternoon the gates where all but hung. It took a while however, to repaint and touch up to perfection. One day gone.
Sunday was a bit of a failed shopping day, no food, no toys, just DIY stuff. With the floor repair job is in full swing, it was, more replacement floor boards and a box of two hundred screws. Oh and one toy an Electric nail gun. (really useless for putting in screws)
The rest of Sunday and Monday were spent Screwing. I did however get the chance to use my new nail gun. The floor boards in the hall have creaked for as many years as I can remember, but with little wedges hammered under the floor joists and secured with nails from my new nail gun, Peace at last. One more room to do.
Tuesday is a trip to my mums after work. That made Tuesday a DIY free day, but an extra prep night for work on Wednesday.
Wednesday was a Somerfield Store opening, Which for me meant an early start, and a change from my air conditioned hi tech studio. My four hour Radio Show was broadcast live with no security to protect me from the probing public from the Freezing cold car park.
Today Carol had to go to Hospital to see a bowel and tummy specialist. more on that tomorrow because I will only end up slagging off our Local GP's for making Carol suffer, in pain, agony and total despair for a further two years, after the last mis diagnosis of whatever is wrong with her. (B***ards)
On Friday we received a call from Mr Gate man, we had nearly forgotten about a set of gates we had ordered, what seemed, like ages ago. They were due to arrive with an expert fitter early on Saturday morning. Being weekend getting up seemed like a big job and such a strain, manageable (just).
Mr Gate man was running a little late so by mid afternoon the gates where all but hung. It took a while however, to repaint and touch up to perfection. One day gone.
Sunday was a bit of a failed shopping day, no food, no toys, just DIY stuff. With the floor repair job is in full swing, it was, more replacement floor boards and a box of two hundred screws. Oh and one toy an Electric nail gun. (really useless for putting in screws)
The rest of Sunday and Monday were spent Screwing. I did however get the chance to use my new nail gun. The floor boards in the hall have creaked for as many years as I can remember, but with little wedges hammered under the floor joists and secured with nails from my new nail gun, Peace at last. One more room to do.
Tuesday is a trip to my mums after work. That made Tuesday a DIY free day, but an extra prep night for work on Wednesday.
Wednesday was a Somerfield Store opening, Which for me meant an early start, and a change from my air conditioned hi tech studio. My four hour Radio Show was broadcast live with no security to protect me from the probing public from the Freezing cold car park.
Today Carol had to go to Hospital to see a bowel and tummy specialist. more on that tomorrow because I will only end up slagging off our Local GP's for making Carol suffer, in pain, agony and total despair for a further two years, after the last mis diagnosis of whatever is wrong with her. (B***ards)
Friday, September 22, 2006
Wagons
What a pain getting into work today. I drive into work from a secret location each and every day. My Radio listeners don't really have a clue how far, or from which direction I travel.
Today I may have give the game away, Mainly, as a result of Chain-eating, newspaper reading, Sleep driving, Wagon Drivers. Oh I forgot Blind Bullies who wont slow down to let anybody join a motorway, or have any clue what mirrors are used for, other than to check on the carnage they have left behind.
My trip this morning, started out on a Motorway. Two wagons tailgating each other, until one spotted an incline, this is an unmarked que on any motorway for the slower of the two wagons to pull out of his leading opponents slip stream, indicating, but without using mirrors until after the maneuver, to see if any cars were unfortunate enough to be traveling alongside.
The next step is to drive side by side in low gear as slow as possible for as long as possible without letting your opponent pass, not forgetting to weave into the hard shoulder to kick up a few stones to play smash the car windscreen. Meanwhile the other driver has to weave into the outside lane to police speeding cars, and to have lunch and a sly read of the paper.
The average speed on the motorway according to my trip meter was fifteen miles per hour.
On arriving at a small village I have to pass through, news filtered through, that a Massive hole had appeared in the road on the one way system I was about to use "and people were looking into it" (ha ha,,,,funny).
Wonder if this had anything to do with our heavy friends in their big rigs (yes I think so too)
With just twenty minutes before I am due to go on Air I am sat at a railway crossing. Barriers stuck down. It took a detour to get me to work with just ten minutes to go. What was the hold up???? A B***dy wagon stuck on the track. W***ers.
Today I may have give the game away, Mainly, as a result of Chain-eating, newspaper reading, Sleep driving, Wagon Drivers. Oh I forgot Blind Bullies who wont slow down to let anybody join a motorway, or have any clue what mirrors are used for, other than to check on the carnage they have left behind.
My trip this morning, started out on a Motorway. Two wagons tailgating each other, until one spotted an incline, this is an unmarked que on any motorway for the slower of the two wagons to pull out of his leading opponents slip stream, indicating, but without using mirrors until after the maneuver, to see if any cars were unfortunate enough to be traveling alongside.
The next step is to drive side by side in low gear as slow as possible for as long as possible without letting your opponent pass, not forgetting to weave into the hard shoulder to kick up a few stones to play smash the car windscreen. Meanwhile the other driver has to weave into the outside lane to police speeding cars, and to have lunch and a sly read of the paper.
The average speed on the motorway according to my trip meter was fifteen miles per hour.
On arriving at a small village I have to pass through, news filtered through, that a Massive hole had appeared in the road on the one way system I was about to use "and people were looking into it" (ha ha,,,,funny).
Wonder if this had anything to do with our heavy friends in their big rigs (yes I think so too)
With just twenty minutes before I am due to go on Air I am sat at a railway crossing. Barriers stuck down. It took a detour to get me to work with just ten minutes to go. What was the hold up???? A B***dy wagon stuck on the track. W***ers.
Thursday, September 21, 2006
That's Tangy
We haven't had Halloween yet, nor bonfire night, but at work we are talking Christmas parties. John and Neil our breakfast presenters are talking Panto ( Oh yes they are). They are in Peter Pan at The Crosby Civic hall.
Neil is on a health kick at the moment (so he says). And, I may add, needs to be. Being the best radio station in our patch means that for the lucky few, (Our Sales team plus John and Neil) certain perks are available.
These perks are mainly food and Drink related, free meals at various venues throughout our area, and food delivered to the Studio at stupid o'clock. Hence the need to be on a health kick. Don't worry a local Gym has come to the rescue and sorted out free membership. (not for me though)
I did try last year to get cheap membership and got totally ripped off. One of our local Gyms offered me a huge discount .....My A*se. My blood pressure was too high to join at that time, so they deferred my membership start date until my high cholesterol was sorted.
They stole money from my bank for a whole year without me being able to attend..... B***ards.
Anyway I have bought a Power Juicer and do loads of DIY . Who needs to prance around, lifting things for no reason, in a Smelly Gym wearing a leotard ,with blokes who train to look like they are carrying invisible carpets.
I can get my Five a Day with my Power Juicer. And Tonight I did just that. I had Beef Curry Rice Chips and Prawn crackers followed by a Carol special, Lemon, Lime, Orange, Grapefruit, and apple.
My tongue is nearly bleeding.
Neil is on a health kick at the moment (so he says). And, I may add, needs to be. Being the best radio station in our patch means that for the lucky few, (Our Sales team plus John and Neil) certain perks are available.
These perks are mainly food and Drink related, free meals at various venues throughout our area, and food delivered to the Studio at stupid o'clock. Hence the need to be on a health kick. Don't worry a local Gym has come to the rescue and sorted out free membership. (not for me though)
I did try last year to get cheap membership and got totally ripped off. One of our local Gyms offered me a huge discount .....My A*se. My blood pressure was too high to join at that time, so they deferred my membership start date until my high cholesterol was sorted.
They stole money from my bank for a whole year without me being able to attend..... B***ards.
Anyway I have bought a Power Juicer and do loads of DIY . Who needs to prance around, lifting things for no reason, in a Smelly Gym wearing a leotard ,with blokes who train to look like they are carrying invisible carpets.
I can get my Five a Day with my Power Juicer. And Tonight I did just that. I had Beef Curry Rice Chips and Prawn crackers followed by a Carol special, Lemon, Lime, Orange, Grapefruit, and apple.
My tongue is nearly bleeding.
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